We have been living with this for our life. But sometimes I wonder what actually it is. Everyone give their own definitions. But which one scores top mark is a big question to answer than the one at hand. I am talking of 'friendship'!!
Does this exist in office place too? Is it the same feeling one experiences in school or college? I see it the same way in whichever situation one may be. I find it difficult to understand this feeling with males and females in office env. I am not sure how others feel. May be they didn't had a chance to voice out.
I had 'not-so-good' exp with one of my colleagues. I have the behavior of not moving so well with all people so easily. But when I find people to be of my kind, I go with them closer and treat them like self. For these long years of my age I always won friends and not heard of them saying that I got "irritated"! Though the words come from heart (at least for me in some situations), I couldn't take it lightly. I am sentimental when it comes to friends. I don't wanna lose the ones I like. Is it right to be possessive of them? I say yes!!
Now back to the issue with this colleague. I do understand others feelings and accommodate them. Bitterness comes when they don't understand my way of dealing with them. The "cold war" started and we did not spoke to each other. I was frustrated. The crux was that this colleague did not able to answer to the question I asked. This happened when this colleague was on way to home. The colleague gave a different answer saying the colleague is struck in traffic. I asked for answer to my first question. This caused the temper to rise. But silence remained.
Does silence portray to me that the colleague is angry or upset? Or the behavior in asking the second question when stuck in traffic is wrong? Hmm. To me I tried to be informal being considered as a best friend. Hence I expected a reply saying I am tired or stuck in traffic or I will reply later. But none happened. Only silence. I do accept my mistake that I tried to "over expect". If any one of the reply had come, everything would have been in place. I am not trying to blame the colleague but trying to put across my justification. Is this right behavior to be silent? Or I was over expecting behavior on others?
I was confused in behaving with this colleague. I am getting worried whether to expect more or be formal by creating boundary! But one thing to mention that the colleague is a very good type and able to use brain a lot(like me..of course). The colleague is of my kind and hard to lose.
I tried ways to break the ice and spoke. One thing is true from my experience is that being friend with a male is completely different and less challenging than with a female.
Lets see how this colleague reacts.!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
2 comments:
though it is personal... i would like to say one thing here. Any relation (colleague/friend/blah blah) is mutual. Need not be perfectly mutual (100%-100%) but there shud be some kind of understanding, from both sides. If you have such high feeling on ur colleague (see, it made u to blog), give ur colleauge some more time to cool down and get back to u.
each one likes some amount of breathing space, in the relationship. give that (u take that too), if it is beyond a point where u r not able to take it, then assume that "they dont deserve to be with u to become a friend in future" and MOVE ON. I mean, never try to patch two incompatible people.
though it is personal... i would like to say one thing here. Any relation (colleague/friend) is mutual. Need not be perfectly mutual (100%-100%) but there shud be some kind of understanding, from both sides.
each one likes some amount of breathing space, in the relationship. give that (u take that too), if it is beyond a point where u r not able to take it, then assume that u have incompatible issues and MOVE ON. I mean, never try to patch two incompatible people (male or female).
Post a Comment